Break

Nov. 19th, 2009 08:18 pm
unodoseskimo: (Default)
[personal profile] unodoseskimo
Title: Break
Pairing: Kihae
Genre: Angst, drama
Rating: PG - PG-13ish
Summary: Donghae's view on his crumbling relationship with the ever-distant Kibum.
A/N: If there are any mistakes, please tell me. :'3



1; Spring


You were beautifully disturbing and profound; sickly sweet smile, broad shoulders and arms that were so, so welcoming, and with your erratic and inconsistent moods that twisted and turned so suddenly, you were utterly irresistible.

Time with you was sweet; so sweet it was almost unnatural. You were quiet and tentative, sitting and listening to everything I had to say when others didn’t, only speaking or moving when I was done, or when I wanted something.

Sometimes we’d disagree, but it was only natural; we were polar opposites, and it worked.

You were Spring in the beginning. Full of life and colour and inconsistency; going from the calm warm moods to the light showers, then to the thrashing, heavy storms that were our fights. Then back to that warm state, comforting and loving when we made up, it was completely normal.

Then you changed.

2; Summer


You became more pliant. Agreeing with everything I said, only letting me stay the night when I asked, as you no longer invited me.

Sometimes we weren’t in contact for days at a time on claims that you had to film that week, or practice your script, or meet with your new friends.

I was okay with it; really I was, because when you did have time for me, it was special.

Days with you were warmer and closer than they had been previously. But every so often they were too tepid, the air between us hot and heavy and almost muggy with how hard it seemed you were trying.

So you were Summer for a while. Warm and relaxing and filled with lazy days and sleeping in. We were made up of hot days, cold, lonely nights and heat waves. We passed on ‘It’s too hot to go out’ excuses and weeks spent apart making the brief time together more valuable, personal.

Everything got colder.


3; Fall


“I’ll only be gone a few weeks.”

Just as fast as you were here, you weren’t.

I was not able to contact you much after that. You were so busy, filming that new show with those new friends and that new look of yours. You weren’t yourself, or at least you weren’t the person you let me believe you were anymore.

It didn’t hurt that much in the beginning. Others had done dramas before, even a few solo songs here and there. I’d see you less, but it would only be for awhile. Then when the new album promotions began, you’ll come back and become that shy, quite boy that only spoke to me again.

You had become fall, busy and chilly and full of new clothes for school. Then different people became new friends, your old ones being cast off because your personalities and interests no longer clicked. Our days got shorter, the sun disappearing earlier by an hour, the moon casting barely any light at night, making for a dark, dreary world.

And then the sun ceased to rise at all.


4; Winter

You’re not around at all now, physically or even in memory.

The dances have stopped being choreographed for thirteen on the slim chance you’d join us for a performance or two.

Everything should make sense.

Now there are only twelve spots on the stage, a perfectly even number, we can split up into even rows for once.

Everything should make sense.

It’s now twelve members, twelve months, three to a season like it should be.

Everything should make sense.

A thirteenth month would throw everything off, people say. Nobody knows where it would fit, what season it would belong in. It could be a transitional month, where the weather turns warmer or colder depending on its place.

But because there is no thirteenth month, people don't have to worry about that. Everything fits, works...

Everything should make some goddamn sense, Kibum.

But it doesn’t; just like you.
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Jamie

August 2011

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